Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I'm Baaaaaack!

Yeah, I know.  It's been a while.  It's not that I haven't wanted to blog, it's that I just haven't been able to.  I just couldn't do it.  And now I think I've spent more time wondering how to pick it back up.  Where do I start?  Do I just pretend like it hasn't been eight months?  Do I give an explanation?  I'm going to go with the first option.

So, I've been at this mom gig for almost three and a half years.  I am by no means an expert, but I have definitely learned a lot of lessons.  Some lessons I thought I had mastered by now, but I find myself constantly re-learning them.  One of those lessons has really hit me recently.

I've been struggling a lot recently with finding time to do my daily devotions.  This is a time I've always enjoyed and appreciated.  I know how important it is that I daily spend time in the Word and praying.  I usually spend a lot of time journaling, talking to God about whatever is going on and asking for guidance or understanding.  I pour out my heart during this time and get re-centered for whatever I will be facing.  I've gone through times when I didn't do it regularly and it reflected in my life.  I could tell that things weren't right.  But I've always fallen back into my routine. 

Well, kids change things.  And I need to adjust to the new way things are.  I've been trying to go back to the way things were.  Unsuccessfully.  I used to get up early in the morning before the boys and do my quiet time.  I didn't mind it.  I'm a morning person and the boys slept until at least 7:00, usually 7:30.  But then Micah started waking up before 6:00 in the morning.  I thought it was a fluke. 

I was wrong.

I have a hard time getting up before 6:00am when I have nowhere to be.  And I'm pregnant.  I'm exhausted.  So getting up before 6:00 just wasn't an option.  I tried during nap time for a while.  But really all I wanted to do was nap.  Recently I've decided it's time to do something different.  I have to.  Things can't keep going this way.  I'm not sure yet what's going to work for me during this time of my life but I will be trying new things.  Because I need to adjust to the way my life is right now. 

It happened again today.  We decided to take a walk tonight after dinner.  Brad and I used to love to take walks at night.  Even after Micah was born we used to take nightly walks.  It was so easy to just put him in the stroller and go.  Since Judah was born the walks have slowed down.  The reason could be illustrated by what happened tonight.  We finished dinner and told the boys we were going to go for a walk.  Micah just needed to 1)pick up his puzzles 2)go to the bathroom and 3)get his shoes on.  All with the aide of Daddy.  One would expect this would only take a couple minutes. 

It took almost an hour.

What we thought was going to be a nice family walk outside turned into what seemed to be an endless time getting ready.  The truth is getting the boys ready to leave the house anytime takes forever.  A simple family walk is not so simple anymore.  I have to adjust to our new reality.  I don't want family walks to fall by the wayside just because it's hard to get the kids out the door.  So, instead, I have to lower my expectations.  We have to develop a new routine.  Make some sacrifices. 

Learning the same lesson over again.  And I have a feeling it won't be the last time, either.

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