Wednesday, November 24, 2010


The holidays typically cause people to reminisce. So does having a baby. I am no exception. I've been thinking a lot lately about the past year. It has been incredible, gone nothing like what I thought. But I wouldn't change it for the world. For me, it all started about a year ago.

The school year got off to a bad start right from the beginning. By November things were just really going downhill. I had a problem with some of the parents and my principal was being a jerk. I couldn't do anything right by his thinking. In addition, things with my job at the church were getting very busy. I wasn't getting into a service regularly and it was really starting to pay its toll on my spiritual life. I really felt like Satan was attacking me and I had no defense because I wasn't going to church. So, Brad and I started talking and praying and we decided that I should resign from my job at the church. It was a very hard decision because I loved working with the kids and it really was my dream job. But I felt like I needed to do something in order to pick up my sword and fight for my spiritual life back.

January was the first time in months that Brad and I were able to sit through all four services in the month. It was wonderful and I immediately felt renewed and refreshed. It was also about that time that Brad and I decided to go to an infertility doctor. We had been trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully for a year so we decided it was time to find out why it wasn't happening. We started testing.

In the beginning of February, Brad and I took a workshop at our church about our finances. We learned a lot from the workshop about how to budget and get out of debt. We were also given tools for preparing to live as a one-income family. Also, we found out that there was no medical reason for our infertility. The doctor wanted to start me on clomid once my next cycle started. Last, things at school were getting worse than ever. My principal was so unsupportive and was just a jerk. After a little while, Brad and I decided that I should not continue working there. I knew that I was a good teacher and I could not continue working for a boss who did not believe in me. So, I turned in my letter of resignation.

At the end of February, I suddenly realized that I was late and decided to take a pregnancy test. I took it one morning before school. I can remember not wearing my glasses and swearing I wasn't going to check it until after I had brushed my teeth, washed my face, etc. As I was putting the test down I thought I saw something, which had never happened to me before so I decided to peek. I clearly saw two pink lines and started yelling to Brad (who was sleeping in bed still), "There's two pink lines! There's two pink lines! There's never been two pink lines!"

Literally within a few weeks, Brad and I found out there was no reason that we weren't getting pregnant, we learned how to budge off of one income, I quit my job, and we found out I was pregnant. Truly, it was a God thing. We were being prepared for the next step in our lives and we didn't even know it. I quit my job without any idea of what I would do next, at a time when there are very few job openings in the education field. It was a leap of faith. We had no idea what the future held for us, but we knew that this was what God wanted us to do. And a couple of weeks later, we found out I was pregnant. I was now able to stay home with our child, something we'd always wanted me to do.

It all started a year ago. To look back is just amazing to me. I wish that I could really put into words just how awesome it has been to see God working in our lives this past year. There is no doubt that he has been at work and we are so blessed to have received such a precious gift in our beautiful son. To look back is awesome, I cannot wait to see what God has in store for our future!

And now I will close with a picture of our little dream come true!

Friday, November 19, 2010

What Social Life?

When I was pregnant with Micah, Brad and I swore that even though we knew our life would change we would still stay the same in several ways. We are both very social people and did not want to give that up once we had kids. I've baby sat for children of all ages for years and I thought I'd learned a thing or two about maintaining a social life even after kids. Sure, I might be able to bring a toddler to a family party or take a baby to soccer game. But maintaining a social life? Much harder than we thought!

When I quit teaching I knew right away that I would have to find a job as soon as possible because there was no way I could sit at home all day with nothing to do. Then, we found out I was pregnant and the search for a job was called off. Mostly. I still had a couple of months in the summer to fulfill. I only watched Lilie three days a week, but for those three days I knew I had something to do. The other two days I could go stir crazy. I often drove out to my parents' house just so that I could be in the same room with someone. Never in a million years did I think that I would be okay with staying home all the time.

But having a baby changes things. Now, most days I don't even make my way downstairs until almost noon. The only reason I get out of my pajamas is because someone is coming over or I have to run an errand. Even then most of the time I put on lounge pants (something I didn't even own until I had Micah!) and a T-shirt. Often, when Brad gets home from work he'll ask me what we did all day. I tell him I have no idea. I fed Micah. That's pretty much it. And yet somehow the time always seems to fly by!

Now, back to the social life part. I still get a little stir crazy and like to get out of the house. I still want to spend time with friends. So, last week when I had the opportunity to go to Olive Garden with the girls in my small group, I jumped at it. Of course, I took Micah with, but he did great, slept the whole time (of course, I had to feed him in the parking lot before we could head home, but he made it through the restaurant!). I was so happy, our first outing and he proved that it could be done! Then, Thursday, we had a doctor's appointment for Micah and needed to go to Target for some things. We also made plans to meet Brad's mom for lunch. Micah's appointment was at 1:20. After lunch, we walked around Lake Katherine with Grammie. Then, we needed to stop at my parents' house so that I could feed Micah. My sister and the girls were over so we spent a little extra time there with them. Finally, we left and headed for Target. We did not get home until 10:00. Again, Micah did great, only got fussy one time when he was getting hungry. Yay! We have a social kid, too! On Friday, I had an appointment and my dad picked me up early so that he could spend some time with Micah. After a couple of hours at my parents' house, my mom and I went to Archiver's to buy the materials for our birth announcements. Then, she took me to my appointment. That night, some friends stopped by to drop off a meal and meet Micah. Again, Micah did wonderful the whole day.

Then Saturday came. We were supposed to go to a family wedding, but from the very beginning of the day, Micah was not in a good mood. He was very fussy and wanted to eat all the time. The kid was practically attached to me the whole day. And the poor boy was so overtired he barely slept the whole day! We quickly realized that the busyness of the past couple days had really taken its toll on Micah. He wanted to be home in the comfort of his bed, able to be held by his Mommy or Daddy whenever he wanted. He just needed a day to relax and not have to be anywhere. So, we gave that to him. And just like that, I realized that having a baby had definitely changed my social life. I never would have guessed that I would be the person to not go to a wedding and just stay home instead. But I'm beginning to appreciate those days. Don't get me wrong, I still like to get out of the house. I try to get out at least once a day in someway: run to Target, go for a walk, whatever. But I really enjoy the days where I have nothing planed and I just get to hang out with my little boy. I still want to spend time with my friends and stay active, but my little boy is more important now. He doesn't like the fast-paced lifestyle. At least not right now. So, I'm perfectly content staying home and cuddling with him most days. After all, dinner out and shopping trips will always be there, but Micah will only be a baby once and I plan on enjoying every minute of it!

Now, a few pictures of Micah being social:

Going for a walk, something we do most days.

Family picture at Lake Katherine.

See? Doesn't he just look tuckered out?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The New Normal

Today Micah is 11 days old. He has been home for over a week and we're still trying to figure out what normal is going to be like from now on. It seems like it changes every day. One day he's wide awake during the middle of the day, the next he sleeps practically the whole day. We're learning to just roll with the punches, because that's all we really can do.

So, what's life been like since Micah came home? Well, he had his first doctor's appointment on Friday. When he came home from the hospital, Micah weighed 6lbs. 15oz. At his appointment, he weighed 7lbs. 3oz. This was a huge relief for me because I just had no way of knowing if Micah was getting enough milk or not. This definitely confirmed that he is a healthy eater! He has another appointment this afternoon. I'm eager to see how much he weighs now!

The first two nights home were long, but Brad wasn't working so we worked together and survived. Ever since then, Micah has been a great sleeper at night. We actually have to wake him every night for his middle of the night feeding. I know, many of you are saying, "You never wake a sleeping baby!" but he's still so young that we have to make sure he eats at least every 4 hours. We're really hoping at our appointment today, the pediatrician says it's okay to let him sleep and wake himself when he's hungry. He sleeps a lot during the day, too, but usually has a good awake time of about 4 hours or so.

Micah's had many visitors, including all of his grandparents and aunts and uncles and even some friends. His cousins loved holding him for the first time and just admiring how little he is. On Wednesday, Micah even went to his first restaurant with Mommy and her small group friends. He slept the entire time! He really is a good baby and we're adjusting quite well to this little bundle that has completely turned our lives upside down!

Welcome home, Micah!

He wasn't too fond of his first bath, but I'm sure with time he will love them just as much as Mommy does!

Being weighed at the pediatrician's office--he did not like having to be naked!

My sister is taking some newborn shots of him. Here's a sneak peek.

Monday, November 8, 2010

He's Here

Life's been kind of busy lately. Why, you ask? In case you haven't heard, we have a newborn in the Kolar household. Micah Benjamin was born on October 31st at 12:05 in the afternoon. I know we haven't been able to talk to a lot of you and you're curious as to everything that's been going on so I thought I would write it out here for you.

On Saturday, the 30th we went to the hospital for my regularly scheduled non-stress test. As usual, my blood pressure was elevated. Despite being hooked up to the monitors for 45 minutes, my blood pressure was not going down so I was sent for biophysical profile (a special ultrasound). Everything with the baby looked good and the technician said he would be about 8lbs. 14 oz. We went back up to labor and delivery and I was hooked back up to the monitors and my blood pressure was still elevated (160s/high 90s). After a while, our midwife called and said that we should think about being induced because of my blood pressure. All of my tests came back normal, as did the baby's so there was still no indication that the high blood pressure was negatively effecting me or the baby. However, at that point, there was no benefit to keeping the baby inside. The midwife left the decision up to us. After discussing it for a little while, Brad and I decided to go ahead and do the induction.

So, we were admitted into labor and delivery. At 12:30 I was given my first dose of cytotec, which helps ripen the cervix. Brad and I played a mean game of Phase 10 while waiting for things to happen. My mom and sister also stopped by to visit. At 4:30 I was given my second dose of cytotec and my last dose at 8:30. By then, I started having contractions, but nothing intense or real regular. Also, my mom, sisters, and Brad's mom came by for a visit. Everyone left around 10:00 and Brad and I started to settle down for the night. We tried to get some sleep, but our minds were racing making it nearly impossible to calm down. Around 1:30 I started feeling more regular, intense contractions. At this point, I was not hooked up to the IV so we decided to walk the halls. We walked up and down the halls of the ob floor for probably close to 2 hours as the contractions got closer together and more intense.

At 5:00 the nurse started my pitocin. There was almost an immediate increase in my contractions! In addition, I was now confined to my bed because I had to be hooked up to the monitors and an IV. I felt defeated because moving around really helped me deal with the pain. The nurse was awesome. She came in and tried talking to me, helping me deal with the pain. She even brought in the labor ball so that I could sit on that. I lasted another two hours like that before I finally asked for an epidural. The contractions were very intense, very close together, I was feeling nauseous, and just very emotional. Within an hour, the anesthesiologist was administering my epidural and I was feeling no pain! At this point, Brad called the grandparents and they came by. By 10:00 I was 10cm and we were waiting for the baby to drop a little bit more so that I could start pushing. Around 11:00, I was told I could start pushing. We kicked everyone out (though they didn't go very far--they all stood outside the door, listening) and started pushing. At 12:05, Micah Benjamin literally came bursting into the world! He weighed 7lbs. 9oz. and was 21 1/2in. He has lots of blond/brown hair and the longest fingers!

Micah has really changed our world. Both Brad and I are just smitten with him and cannot believe that our world ever felt complete without him. I'll close with some pictures from the past few days and a promise to write more about what life at home has been like since Micah joined us.

Exactly 40 weeks pregnant. Just before starting the induction.

Happy Halloween from Micah!

Welcome to the world, Micah Benjamin!