Monday, March 25, 2013

No More Perfect Moms

Last weekend I had the privilege of attending the Hearts at Home Conference with some women from my  MOPS group.  This was my second year going and both years I have come away with so much.

This year's theme was "No more perfect moms."  While not all of my workshops addressed this topic specifically I was hit all weekend with the reminder that I don't have to be perfect.  Jill Savage talked about what she calls "the perfection infection."  We read facebook statuses or twitter tweets and compare our everyday with someone else's highlights.  We look on pinterest and beat ourselves up for not cutting our kids' sandwiches up into their favorite character or not having a perfectly clean, beautiful house, or not having a gourmet meal every night for dinner.  We strive for perfection, but perfection is simply not obtainable.  We will fail every time.

I am so guilty of this.  It's not that I'm a perfectionist, necessarily (I settle for "good enough" in a lot of areas!).  It's more that I want to be the best mommy and wife.  I so easily get caught up in what I can be doing better that I forget about what I'm doing right right now.  I truly see this as the most important job I will ever have and I am afraid of failure.  I don't want my boys to grow up and feel like I neglected them because we didn't do projects together or I didn't make cool things to play.  I don't want them to go to school and be the only kid that doesn't know his letters and numbers.  I don't want them to feel like we never go anywhere fun.

But the thing is, they won't.  It's not what we do that my boys will remember.  It's who they do it with.  And right now my boys are easily impressed.  A morning playing trains with Mommy is Micah's favorite day ever.  A lunch of chicken nuggets, french fries, and a juice box is the best.  Sitting on the couch, watching Thomas is how Micah would prefer to spend his afternoon.  And sitting in Mommy's lap, reading a couple of books, and getting his back rubbed is the best way to get ready for bed. 

So why do I put so much pressure on myself?  Why do I feel like I have to strive to be perfect?  It only stresses me (and my family) out.  I was challenged last weekend to stop striving for perfection and just focus on being okay.  Okay is a good place to be.  It's not putting unrealistic expectations on myself or those around me.  It's being okay with failure because I am human and I am going to fail.  It's making time for what really matters (my family) and not getting caught up in the frilly things that don't.  So, I'm going to work on being "the world's okayest mom."  That doesn't mean we're not going to do art projects or fun activities in our house anymore.  It just means if we don't do those things I will be okay with it.  If all we do all day is play trains that's okay.  Because that's all my little boy really wants.  And at the end of the day what matters most to me is making him happy.

What about you?  Will you stop striving for perfection with me and settle for the world's okayest mom?

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