Sunday, April 8, 2012

Through the Eyes of a Child

I think everyone experiences God in a different way. He speaks to you differently than he speaks to me. Certain things make me feel closer to Him than others. There are two ways that I have always experienced God.

The first is through music. Music just speaks to me. I'm not technically gifted when it comes to music. Often the people that I think are really great musicians true musicians scoff at. But I don't care. They have the ability to put to words exactly what I'm feeling. There's nothing like a good time of music worship. Songs that speak my heart and bring me to my knees (sometimes literally). I can distinctly remember the first time I raised my hands in worship. It was at a youth conference. I was really stepping out of my comfort zone, but I was just so full of joy that it felt like it was pouring out of me and I didn't know how much longer I could keep my hands at my side. That's how it is for me so often. Music moves me. Music is everywhere in the Bible and when I read words that tell me I should dance in praise to God I believe them. I want to dance. I want to move. I want to shout his praises. I love sitting in worship and feeling like it's just me and God. But I've also been broken my music before. Sometimes it's not me expressing my praise to God, it's God comforting me. Right when I found out I was pregnant with Micah I was going through a tough time at work. I felt like I was being personally attacked and I just wanted to give up. For three weeks straight I felt like the music at church was meant for me. God was speaking to me, telling me that he was holding me and that he was blessing me. Every Sunday I cried. I remember thinking people around me must have been starting to worry about me because I was really making a habit out of crying during the singing! Music is definitely one of the major ways that I experience God.

The other way is through kids. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing faith through the eyes of a child. I love the "aha" moments when they realize that God loves them. Except it's not a realization, really. It's something they've always known. It just is to them, because why would they question it? God's love for them is so obvious, there's no reason to doubt it. And their faith is so trusting. They know that God is there for them all the time. He's never failed them so why would he start now? Kids are just a constant reminder of what faith should look like. Kids remind me that Jesus loves me and he died for me. And that's what matters most. I love teaching the little ones about Jesus because they're so excited, it reminds me to have that same excitement.

Combine the two together and oh my gosh, you've just got me. Probably one of my favorite moments of every year is at VBS. When the kids are jumping up and down during singing time singing, "It's you I live for!" it just melts my heart. I cry every time. Every time. I think that's what Heaven's going to be like, and I am so looking forward to it.

Now that I have my own child I have so many ways to experience God every day. It's like experiencing Him anew every day. But today was one of those days that I don't think I'll soon forget. Micah takes after his Mommy and loves music. So, we keep him with us during the music part of church and bring him to nursery for the message. He always gets so excited and waves to the singers or dances on the chair in front of him. If we're clapping our hands, he loves it and claps along with us. But today he was really getting in to it! And I don't think it's a coincidence that it was Easter Sunday. Micah had his hands up in the air, praising God while singing about how Jesus conquered death and rose from the grave. He was clapping and cheering, so full of excitement. And while I know that he didn't understand what was going on, I do believe that he was praising God in his own way. And it just melted me. I really stood there, holding my son whose hand was up in the air and I just had tears falling down my face. I pray that Micah will never stop loving Jesus like that. I don't want him to be ashamed to express his praises however he wants. I want him to be so full of love for the Father that it just pours out of him. And I got to experience a little bit of that this morning. What a beautiful thing to see!

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