No More Perfect Moms

Last weekend I had the privilege of attending the Hearts at Home Conference with some women from my  MOPS group.  This was my second year going and both years I have come away with so much.

This year's theme was "No more perfect moms."  While not all of my workshops addressed this topic specifically I was hit all weekend with the reminder that I don't have to be perfect.  Jill Savage talked about what she calls "the perfection infection."  We read facebook statuses or twitter tweets and compare our everyday with someone else's highlights.  We look on pinterest and beat ourselves up for not cutting our kids' sandwiches up into their favorite character or not having a perfectly clean, beautiful house, or not having a gourmet meal every night for dinner.  We strive for perfection, but perfection is simply not obtainable.  We will fail every time.

I am so guilty of this.  It's not that I'm a perfectionist, necessarily (I settle for "good enough" in a lot of areas!).  It's more that I want to be the best mommy and wife.  I so easily get caught up in what I can be doing better that I forget about what I'm doing right right now.  I truly see this as the most important job I will ever have and I am afraid of failure.  I don't want my boys to grow up and feel like I neglected them because we didn't do projects together or I didn't make cool things to play.  I don't want them to go to school and be the only kid that doesn't know his letters and numbers.  I don't want them to feel like we never go anywhere fun.

But the thing is, they won't.  It's not what we do that my boys will remember.  It's who they do it with.  And right now my boys are easily impressed.  A morning playing trains with Mommy is Micah's favorite day ever.  A lunch of chicken nuggets, french fries, and a juice box is the best.  Sitting on the couch, watching Thomas is how Micah would prefer to spend his afternoon.  And sitting in Mommy's lap, reading a couple of books, and getting his back rubbed is the best way to get ready for bed. 

So why do I put so much pressure on myself?  Why do I feel like I have to strive to be perfect?  It only stresses me (and my family) out.  I was challenged last weekend to stop striving for perfection and just focus on being okay.  Okay is a good place to be.  It's not putting unrealistic expectations on myself or those around me.  It's being okay with failure because I am human and I am going to fail.  It's making time for what really matters (my family) and not getting caught up in the frilly things that don't.  So, I'm going to work on being "the world's okayest mom."  That doesn't mean we're not going to do art projects or fun activities in our house anymore.  It just means if we don't do those things I will be okay with it.  If all we do all day is play trains that's okay.  Because that's all my little boy really wants.  And at the end of the day what matters most to me is making him happy.

What about you?  Will you stop striving for perfection with me and settle for the world's okayest mom?

Sledding

A couple weeks ago we finally got a good snow.  Both Brad and I were bummed, however, because he was at work all day and couldn't enjoy it with Micah.  But as soon as Brad got home that day he ran upstairs to change his clothes so that he could take Micah sledding.  At the last minute, we decided that Judah and I would join them as well.  So, we bundled both of the boys up and headed down the street to the Manhattan sledding hill.

 This was Micah's first time sledding.  He was scared at first (no surprise there!) so we took Judah down first.  Judah, of course, loved it.  Eventually, we had to just grab Micah and go.  After that, he realized that he loved it and wanted to go again and again.  He even climbed up the hill every time all by himself.  He tried carrying the sled, too, but it was too hard for him to keep his traction and hold the sled.

Everyone had a fun time sledding.  I'm so glad that we had the opportunity to go at least once this winter, even if it was the end of winter.  We're already looking forward to NEXT winter when we get to go again--maybe Micah will even go down by himself!

10 Months

This was a rough month.  It seems like someone was sick every day this month.  That made for a lot of time inside.  Poor Judah had both influenza and the stomach flu.  He's also dealing with some nasty eczema that is pretty much all over his body.  He's been handling the sickness pretty well, though.  He likes to cuddle when he doesn't feel good, which I love!  He gets a bit whiny, too, which can be hard to deal with, but you take the good with the bad.  With all of the time spent at home this month Judah has really started turning into a big boy.  He pulls himself up on everything and is even beginning to stand on his own (not quite there yet, but he's trying!).  He's into everything and loves playing with his toys.  Wherever big brother is, he wants to be, but he also enjoys his time alone.  Not much highlights from this month, but here they are:

  *Judah got his second tooth.  He bites down on everything now--mostly our fingers--and it hurts!

  *He weighed 20lbs 11oz at his doctor's appointment.  Not sure what his height was, though, we forgot to have the nurse write it down and I never heard what she said.

  *He celebrated his first Valentine's Day.  Mommy and Micah had BSF that morning and Daddy had to work that night so after his morning nap, Judah and Daddy met us at Giordanno's for some heart-shaped pizza (a tradition of ours).  

  *He had his first sleepover at Mimi's house.  We spent Saturday at the Museum of Science and Industry, then he went home with Mimi and Micah.  She said he did great.  We were happy for a night away, but were even happier to return home to our boys!

  *He started saying "mamamama"  He says it all the time now.  He's a little chatterbox, always has something to say.

  *He went on his first train ride to Oak Lawn Children's Museum.  He had such a fun time looking around at everything.  His favorite was hearing his voice echo in the train station.

Fingerpainting on a "sick day."

Happy Valentine's Day from Judah!

Eating dinner.

Hanging on to his train ticket.

Doesn't he look like he doesn't feel good?  Poor baby!

Watching the Irish Fest Parade from our front window--he loved it!

Playing at the Children's Museum.

Waiting for the train with Mommy.

Being silly with Daddy while waiting for the train.

My Little Conductor

I've mentioned a few times that Micah's new obsession is with trains.  He is seriously all about trains right now.  Every morning the first thing he does is go to his box of trains and ask us to put together his track.  He usually sleeps with two or three of his trains.  When he was sick playing with his trains is the only thing he did that didn't involve laying on the couch and watching TV.  Whenever we come up to a railroad crossing he gets super excited about "going over the tracks" and seeing "the ding-dings."  He has a sixth sense when it comes to hearing a train whistle and he names every train he sees.  "That's Thomas."  "Here comes Percy."  "It's Gordon!"  The only time he gets possessive and mad at other kids is when they're messing with "his" trains (whether they are actually his or not).  What can I say?  The boy loves his trains.

Brad and I have been wanting to take him for a ride on a train for a while.  We actually planned to a couple times, but someone kept getting sick, preventing us from going.  We had some reservations, too.  Even though Micah loves trains he's scared of them.  He won't go near the real life ones at the Museum of Science and Industry.  Whenever we drive by the boxcar in town Micah reminds us that the train "doesn't move" because we always have to assure him that it won't move.  We weren't sure how he would actually do getting on a train.

But we decided to try it out anyway.




Today we took the train to the Children's Museum.  It was a short ride--just five stops, but just enough time that if he was really freaking out we wouldn't have to suffer too long.  And there would be something fun to do when we got off the train.  Micah did great.  He was super excited the whole way there.  When he heard the train coming he started to get really scared and told us he didn't want to get on the train yet.  But we got on anyway.  And within 30 seconds he was good.  He was in awe!  He loved being on the tracks and looking out the window.  He kept telling us we were "puffing."  He anticipated every tunnel and bridge.  He said hi to the conductor (and showed him his conductor's hat that he was so proud to wear) and just kept looking around at everything. 

It was a perfect trip.  It was so much fun to see how much he enjoyed being on the train.  I loved watching his excitement build as we were driving to the station.  He kept telling us he was wearing his conductor's hat and asking if we were going to ride the train.  Today was one of those days you look forward to even before you have kids.  It was a good day.

Some Days You Just Get it Right

This winter is getting to me.  I mean, really getting to me.  I don't think there's been a week since Christmas that one of us hasn't been sick with something.  Normally, I don't hate winter, but if March 20th doesn't get here soon I'm moving to Florida.  We have been stuck inside for far too long without seeing our friends or doing fun activities.  We have watched way too much TV.  And I don't know how many more times I can push the train around the track before I lose it.  Like send me to the nuthouse lose it.

Lately I have just felt like I am missing the mark so much.  I lose my patience quickly.  Give in too easily.  Neglect the activities I have planned (all that time spent on Pinterest!) in lieu of another episode of Thomas.  I didn't make those sensory bottles for Judah yet.  We're only on letter B with Micah.  I didn't make that dinner or bake those cookies.  I've been focusing on all the things I haven't done, frustrated because I know I can do so much better.  And every morning I pledge to do just that, but then Judah is cranky and takes a long time to go down for his nap.  Or Micah is so happy just watching Thomas.  And I go to bed feeling like I failed yet again. 

Then, there's nights like tonight.  Brad was at work so it was just me and the boys at dinner.  We are sitting at the table and I tell Micah we have to pray before we can eat.  He folds his hands and says, "Dear Lord, thank you for today." 

And I just said "Amen."

Amen.  Let it be.  Not only did my son just pray for the first time ever, but it was so perfect.  Thank you for today.  For the blessing of this day.  For waking us all up this morning.  Thank you for the time I had to play with both of my little boys.  Thank you for lunch that we all enjoyed together as a family.  Thank you for this day, with all of its successes and failures. 

Suddenly, I'm not so focused on how I failed, but on what I've done right.  Micah prayed for the first time.  What a proud moment.  Some days you just get it right.

Home Sick

I've mentioned before that we try to do a little homeschooling with Micah each day.  I keep the activities fun and try to cater them to what he is interested in.  Last week both of the boys were sick so our schedule was a little off, but we still got some things in!

Uncle Kevin got Micah a trampoline for Christmas.  We decided this was the perfect time to bring it out.  He enjoyed jumping on it for a little while.

Daddy brought out the fingerpaints one morning.  We were supposed to take Micah on his first train ride that day, but because he was sick we didn't get to.  So, Daddy said if he doesn't get to ride a train he would get to do fun train things.  So, he painted him a train that was almost as wide as our living room.  Micah thought it was more fun to paint Daddy, though!

In preparation for Valentine's Day, we made this heart rainbow sticky wall to help Micah practice sorting colors.  Brad cut out a bunch of different color hearts.  Then, we drew a rainbow on a piece of contact paper and taped the paper to the wall in the playroom.  Micah had a lot of fun matching the color hearts to the colors of the rainbow.  This was a great sorting activity for him--something we haven't done much of, but he seems to instinctively know how to do.

However, Micah had more fun throwing the hearts up in the air and yelling, "Yo Gabba Gabba!"  This is something he learned to do when we took him to "Yo Gabba Gabba! Live"  He kept filling the bowl up and asking Brad to dump it on him--he loved it!

Of course, he doesn't want his little brother to miss out so as soon as he heard Judah wake up we had to go upstairs and get him.  Micah climbed into the crib with him and wanted to play.

Later that day, Micah wanted to "dot dot dot" his letter "B."  So, we got out the dot paints.  He loves to "dot dot dot" with everything, except the dot paints!  He always uses them like markers.  Oh well.

That was our week last week.  A little lax, but still lots of fun.  I'm hoping to do more posts like this on a regular basis just to keep track of the progress that Micah is making and to share all of the great ideas that I've been collecting!  I'm also linking up with 1+1+1=1 for their Tot School Link. 

9 Months

I know I say this all the time, but is my baby really nine months old already?  It's so hard to believe that nine months ago he was just an itty bitty baby.  He's come a long way!  This has been a HUGE month for him, he's learned so much.  I can't put him down and expect him to be in the same spot anymore.  He's always chasing after his brother and wants whatever he has (especially his cars and trains!).  People always tell me he's such a content baby.  I love when they tell me that because, honestly, I don't usually see it.  I know he's a good baby and he's pretty easy going, but he cries way more than Micah did (which really isn't saying a lot).  Judah knows what he wants and he wants it NOW.  And if he's not happy he will let you know.  But he's also very happy just people watching.  He really likes to be around other people.  He's much more of a cuddler than Micah ever was.  Often I can pick him up and he'll just put his head on my shoulder or he crawls up to us and wants us to just hold him.  That never happened with Micah!  I love seeing how the boys' different personalities develop as they get older.  Here are some of Judah's milestones from his ninth month:

  *He learned to wave "bye-bye."  He does it all the time.  It's the cutest thing ever.  You just tell him
    to wave bye-bye and he does it.  I love it!

  *His first tooth finally popped through!  It was a rough couple of nights before it came, but it's here
    and now we're working on the second one.

  *He full on crawls now.  He is getting all over the place!

  *He pulls himself up on everything.  He loves to stand and play with things, he thinks the world is
    so much more fun higher up. ;)

  *He went to his first story time at the library.  He went to Micah's story time, but he still had a lot of
    fun.  I can't wait to take him to his own story time, I love doing this with Micah and look forward
    to it with Judah.

  *We saw the Huskie dogs at the Arboretum.  Just like his big brother, Judah loves being outside so
    he really enjoyed this outing.  I'm very excited for warmer weather and watching them both play
    outside.

  *He has been fighting something for a little while now and was finally put on amoxicillin as a
   preventative.  After a couple days we figured out he's allergic to it.  That was a rough couple of
   nights, let me tell you!  But he's back to his normal self now.

  *We brought the baby pool inside the house one day so the boys could play and Judah loved it!
    I'm not surprised because he's enjoying his baths more and more. 

That's my little boy.  He's seriously changing so much!