Mother's Day

I love Mother's Day.  It's so easy to get caught up in the busyness of having to visit and spend time with all of the moms, but what Mother's Day is all about is pretty awesome.  It's a day to celebrate being a mom.  Sometimes I think we have it all wrong.  It's not about the presents or a delicious brunch or planting flowers.  It's about celebrating motherhood.

It's about waking up in the middle of the night for the fourth time because the baby only wants Mommy.  It's about dried food on your clothes and you didn't even know it.  It's about listening to your two-year-old cry for the 523,209,203 time today and you still have no idea why.  It's about holding your baby in your arms, looking into his eyes and feeling so in love that you know you would do anything for him.  Anything.

I love Mother's Day.  And I am so blessed to have two wonderful little boys who have made me a mommy and given me the opportunity to be part of this blessed day.  All day I couldn't help but think about my boys and the joy that they bring to my life.  I started a new tradition this year of writing them each a letter.  I've wanted to start some sort of regular writing tradition, but major holidays and events kept passing so quickly and I would forget.  Mother's Day is the perfect time.  In honor of Mother's Day and the boys who made this day possible for me, I want to write a little bit about each of them.

Micah is just turning into a boy right in front of my eyes.  He says stuff like, "I don't like raisins, I like fruit snacks" and "that building is kinda like a hopible (hospital)" all the time.  He is very active, too, and loves being outside.  We are never outside for longer than 2 minutes before he's bending down and picking up a rock from off the ground.  He's always carrying a rock.  Or two.  Or three.  A couple weeks ago our baby sitter drew hopscotch for him and now whenever he goes out the door he has to do hopscotch ("One! Two! Nine! Ten!").  Doesn't matter that the rain washed it away over a week ago.  Micah is obsessed with trains.  Obsessed.  When we're in the car he wants us to go certain ways so that we can "go over the twacks."  And he names every train.  Every train.  "That's James.  That's like Thomas, Mommy!"  He could play with his trains all day long if we let him.  Micah knows his letters, numbers, shapes, and colors.  He loves to do "pwojects," especially if they involve learning. ;)  He's such a sweet, sensitive boy who loves to read and sit in my lap to watch Thomas.  He makes me laugh a million times a day and smile even more.  Micah made me a Mommy and I enjoy every minute with him.

Judah has been more of a challenge from the day he was born.  It didn't take us long to realize that Judah was going to make sure he was heard.  He cried a lot more in the hospital than Micah ever did.  I remember our first night in the hospital, the nurses were swamped and they would not take him to the nursery.  Judah just would not go to sleep, and Brad, especially, was getting really frustrated.  He was practically in tears at one point and just said, "They don't know what a long day we've had?"  We should have known that it was only a sign of things to come. ;)  At one year, Judah still is not sleeping through the night.  Not even close.  He wakes up more now than he did as an infant!  But he's really good about eating and going right back to sleep.  Judah still takes two two-hour naps and goes down so well!  He lets us put him down awake and if he's not ready to sleep yet he'll just play in his crib until he is ready.  Judah loves chasing after his big brother.  He will just sit there and watch for a little while and then he tried to do whatever Micah is doing.  Lately, he picks up a car or train and runs it across the floor.  He is trying so hard to play cars/trains, too!  Judah has the best laugh.  He loves playing peek-a-boo.  It's a surefire way to get him to laugh!  He's crawling all over the place now and pulling himself up on everything.  It won't be long until he takes his first step.  His favorite game is "see how many steps I can climb before Mom gets me."  When he hears me coming he just busts out laughing and climbs faster.  Judah is such a snuggler, too.  I love that because Micah has never been much of a snuggler.  My favorite is when I pick up Judah and he rests his head on my shoulder.  Sometimes he'll just sit in my lap and be perfectly content that way.  I love it. Judah loves pretty much any food he's ever tried.  If he sees you eating something he has to have some of it, and if you try to give him something different he gets very angry.  Judah is definitely Mama's boy, but I don't mind.  I'm enjoying every minute of being his mommy.

12 Months

We have a very special 1-year-old in our house!  I think being one is a big reason to celebrate!  Not just for Judah, but for us, too.  We made it!  We survived Judah's first year without any major complications or mess-ups. :)

Judah is such a loving, sunggly baby.  He's definitely a mama's boy.  He's usually pretty content with letting anyone holding him or doing what everyone else is doing, but if he sees mama that's what he wants!  If you put him down to play he loves watching everyone else and he'll entertain himself for a long time, especially now that he get around on his own.  Judah loves being outside, we're all so thankful that the weather is finally starting to turn nice!  His absolute favorite is playing in the water, though.  He loves to just splash and splash.  That's why we decided to spend his birthday at an indoor waterpark.  It was perfect.  He loved sitting in the water and trying to catch the water that shot up from the fountains.  He even went down a couple of the waterslides and thought it was so much fun!  Here are some of Judah's accomplishments this last month of his first year:

  *Judah learned how to clap his hands.  He was sitting in the car with his brother and Micah kept saying "Yay, Judah!" and clapping his hands.  Judah got so excited every time and he started to clap his hands.

  *Judah is really turning into quite the climber.  We can't leave him alone anymore because his favorite game is climbing up the stairs--he can get all the way to the top by himself.

  *Judah slept over at Mimi's house one night to give Mommy and Daddy a night of uninterrupted sleep.  It was heavenly!

  *Judah also learned how to play peek-a-boo, another game taught by his big brother.  He loves anything his brother does!

  *Judah finally cut his third tooth.  It's his first tooth on top.  The one next to it is going to pop any minute now.  Seriously, we keep saying it's "right there" but it's a stubborn one!

  *Judah participated in the Great Cloth Diaper Change for the first time.  We changed his diaper (into cloth) at the exact same time as thousands of others around the world in order to break a world record.

  *Judah went to the arboretum twice this month.  Once with Daddy and friends we baby sit for and once with Boompa.  He loved it!  He got to play outside and watch the big kids climb.  He had so much fun.  I'm really looking forward to taking him there more often this summer as he gets bigger and can start climbing around himself.

  *We haven't been as diligent with teaching Judah sign language as we were with Micah but he did learn to sign his first sign: "milk."  Whenever he wants Mommy he signs "milk" now.  And he's very passionate about it, squeezing his little fist open and shut so quickly.  It's adorable.

  *Judah went to his first softball game to watch his cousin Abbie played.  He loved sitting on the blanket and watching.  Seriously, anything outside makes this kid happy.

  *Judah got his pictures taken outside at The Round Barn.  He did such a great job, it's going to be hard deciding which ones we want!

  *We had beautiful weather a couple days this past week so we took out the kiddie pool and let the boys go swimming.  Judah loved playing in the pool, it was just the right size for him.

  *As I mentioned before, we spent his birthday at a little indoor waterpark.  He had so much fun splashing around and going down the slides.  He also had his first taste of pizza and loved it!  Seriously, he ate two pieces and just gobbled them down.  It's safe to say he loves pizza, just like his Mommy. :)

Reflections on Two

A year ago today we thought Judah was going to be joining our family.  It was as if I had never been in labor before.  I made Brad take the day off of work and everything.  We did end up at the hospital but came home after a couple hours.  Judah just wasn't ready yet.

With his birthday just a few days away I've been reflecting a lot on the past year.  I'm going to save my reflections about Judah for another post.  But I have been thinking about life with two. 

Specifically life with two under two years old.  I got pregnant with Judah when Micah was just nine months old.  It was planned that way.  We've always wanted a big family and I have always wanted my children close in age.  I love seeing a mom at the park trying to corral four little kids.  Call me crazy, but I wanted to be that mom. 

At 10 months old, Micah seemed like a little boy already, not a baby, and I was so eager to have a baby again.  When people found out I was pregnant I got a lot of comments like, "You'll have your hands full," "you're going to be very busy," and even "did you plan it that way?"  I knew I'd have my hands full and time to myself would be non-existent, but I was still so excited.

And, honestly, being pregnant with a toddler was so much harder than actually having a baby and a toddler!  I was so exhausted with Judah and Micah was so busy.  He was into everything, always on the run.  He was just learning how to walk and he loved exploring new things.  I just didn't have the energy to play with him the way that I used to.  Micah's personality didn't change once I had Judah.  He still loves to explore things and he is always on the run, but I'm used to it now. 

Juggling two was not a hard transition for me.  Micah adjusted very quickly.  There were no jealousy issues.  I contribute a lot of that to having a very supportive husband who would get home from work and immediately take Micah outside to play.  Judah just fit into our lives seamlessly.  At home, we developed a routine that worked for us.  In the beginning, I may have relied on TV a little more than I would have liked, but everyone got what they needed.  Judah has always been a party of our playtime at home.  As a newborn, he sat in the bouncy seat while Micah and I played cars or colored.  If we went outside, Judah was in the stroller or I was wearing him.  Micah has always loved picking out a toy for Judah to play with so that he doesn't steal any of Micah's. :)  Sleep has been a bit difficult, but that really has nothing to do with having two children.  It has to do with Judah still waking several times a night and us just not wanting to take the time to break him of the habit.  He'll sleep through the night when he's ready.  For Micah, it didn't happen until the week we brought Judah home.

Going out has been a bit of a struggle.  At first, it was easy because Judah slept in his carrier or I wore him and Micah sat nicely in the grocery cart.  It has gotten a bit more difficult as Judah now wants to be included in the outing more and Micah prefers to walk and "help" Mommy.  I admit, I avoid going to the store with both of them by myself as much as I can.  I also don't enjoy taking them fun places by myself.  Now that they can go in their own directions it's a little harder to corral them.  But if I'm with other people (including friends and their kids) the work is worth it!  And we're getting to the stage where Micah really is becoming a help--or at least he's listening to me more so I can trust him when we we're out. 

So, yes, my hands are pretty full.  And my life is very busy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I love having two young boys.  I love that they will grow up together and (hopefully!) be best friends.  I love that they will always have each other.  I love that each new stage is not too far from our memory because we just left it with Micah.  I love having a busy life.  Two little boys who like to get dirty and splash in any kind of water they can find.  Two little boys who climb up into my lap whenever I'm holding a book.  Two little boys who look up to me with wide eyes full of love and affection.  Two little boys to cuddle and hold and kiss at night.  Yep, this is the life I dreamed of, and I couldn't be happier.

11 Months

I know I'm a bit late with this post, but Judah is still 11 months old so it's not irrelevant. ;)  March was kind of a slow month for us.  The weather was still pretty yucky.  We even got our biggest snowfall this month!  Judah was still stick for a good portion of the month.  I know he can't wait for the warmer weather, either! 

Climbing up the stairs

It amazes me because when Micah was 11 months old I would look at him and see a toddler already.  When I look at Judah he's still such a baby.  But I love it.  Judah has a bit of a temper, but he's still a pretty content kid.  He likes to join in whatever you're doing, but he's also content to just sit still and watch for a while.  He's a very snuggly baby.  It melts my heart whenever he puts his head down on my shoulder.  He's a climber, too.  If I'm laying on the ground, playing with the boys he always crawls over to me, growls and then starts to attack me.  It's hysterical because he just comes at me.  And if I'm in his way he'll just climb right over me.  Micah has still never climbed out of his crib.  I'm convinced Judah will do it before he's two.  Judah loves to eat.  There's not many foods that he's tried that he doesn't like.  He pretty much eats whatever we're eating now.  If we are eating something, he will whine and let you know he wants some.  And if you give him something different than what you're eating he'll let you know he's not happy about it.  He's a little stingy with his smiles and laughs, but when he laughs it's the cutest laugh in the world!  He just belly laughs, I love it.  And the person who is best at making him laugh is his big brother.  Judah thinks Micah hung the moon.  I cannot wait for them to be a little bit older and see how they play and interact together--one of the benefits of having boys so close in age.  Here are some other highlights from Judah's month:

  *Judah went sledding for the first time.  I thought he would enjoy it more than he actually did.  He didn't seem to care one way or another.

Trying to get a picture of the boy Kolar cousins on St. Patrick's Day

  *Judah went to the Oak Forest Fleadh Parade.  It was pretty cold, but he did great sitting there and watching it all.

  *Judah learned how to stand on his own.  He's been cruising all over the house, but now he just stands there.  I know walking isn't too far behind!

  *We took a little trip to Wisconsin to celebrate Judah's cousin's first birthday.  He did great on the ride up there, not so much on the ride home.  He was overtired and just not happy.  He was very good at the party, though, and loved playing with his cousins!

  *We celebrated Judah's first Easter.  I already wrote a post about how we've decided to celebrate Easter.  Judah had a great time at Oma and Boompa's house and he especially loves his new sippy cup!

That's it.  A pretty low-key month.  I can't believe the next time I update about Judah he will be a year old!  My baby boy is growing up way too fast!  But I'm really looking forward to him being a toddler this summer and playing outside and going to the beach, etc.  It'll be so much fun!

Judah loves spaghetti just as much as his brother!

He loves getting into the refrigerator!

Playing in a box--who needs toys?

Whoa!  Judah's hair is getting long!

Easter 2013

After making such a big deal out of celebrating the true meaning of Christmas this year, Brad and I started to think about Easter.  If we make sure to stay focused on Christ during Christmas and not Santa or the presents then why don't we make such an effort on Easter?  After all, isn't Christmas really about Easter?  Jesus came on Christmas so that we could have Easter.  And Easter is starting to become more and more about the Easter bunny and coloring eggs and chocolate and presents.  That's just not what it's really about, though.  And we would rather start off with the true meaning of Easter than have to go back and do damage control in the future because we let things get out of control.

But we just weren't sure how to stay focused on Christ but still participate in the typical Easter festivities.  As I've mentioned before, Brad and I love to give presents, especially to our boys, so we really didn't want to not give them any gifts at all.  After searching for some time we found a few ideas that we really liked and have decided to make part of our family tradition.

The first is celebrating the first day of Spring the way most people celebrate Easter Sunday.  The boys woke up and found their baskets filled with goodies.  We usually try to give the boys gifts that we know they will use rather than something that will just fill a basket.  So, in Judah's basket we put two new diapers, a sippy cup, and a book (we give the boys books for every holiday).  Micah's basket had LeapFrog letter magnets, stamp letters, bath crayons, and a book.  Then, we had a special breakfast.  Micah loves pancakes so Brad made him pancakes in the shape of a bunny.  Did you know that a bunny is a symbol of Easter because they procreate so easily that they are a sign of new life, which is what Easter is really all about?  Cool, huh?

Then, that morning, we had a First Day of Spring party with some of our friends.  At our party, we had an egg hunt, colored eggs, made a craft, and had some yummy food.  Micah had a blast playing with everyone and he got to enjoy all of the regular Easter activities, apart from Easter Sunday.  This is definitely a tradition we will keep up!

However, focusing on Jesus at Easter is about more than ignoring the "secular" part of the holiday.  It's about celebrating him and his resurrection.  So, Easter morning when the boys woke up they each had a little something waiting for them at their seat at the table.  Each of them got a book about Easter, which we read to them during the day, and a Bible verse printed on a piece of paper.  The Bible verse is the verse that Brad and I have chosen to pray for each of them in the next year.  A verse to focus on for each of them.  We printed the verse on a piece of cardstock and are going to buy a frame to put them in to hang in their rooms so that they can be reminded that we are always praying for them.  What better gift can we give our children then to show them that we are praying for them? 

Curious what verses we chose?  For Micah we chose Ephesians 3:17b-19 "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and
long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fulness of God."  Pretty self-explanatory as to why we chose it. :)  For Judah we chose Pslam 139:13-14a "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."  Judah has had a lot of tummy and skin issues.  We're trying to figure out if he had food allergies or sensitivities.  Sometimes it can be so easy to get upset and feel like there's just something wrong.  But we need to be reminded that God created him just as he is.  And if he does have allergies, God created him that way.  He's a unique little boy.  Very
different from his brother, that's the way God made him.  And we praise God for making Judah Judah and we want him to know that.

After breakfast, we went to church and had a wonderful service!  Both of the boys got to sit with us during worship, which I love.  I think it's so good for them to see us praising God with song and I just love sharing that with them.  Then, we went to my parents' house for some time with my family.  While we were there, my dad read the resurrection story from Micah's Bible.  It was a great way to end the day. 

I'm so happy with the traditions that we are making for our boys and the example that we are setting for them.  It is my prayer that Easter will never be about some bunny or coloring eggs for them, but it will always be about the amazing gift that Jesus gave them on the Resurrection Sunday when he conquered death because of his love for them.  And I pray that someday they will accept that gift as their own and love Jesus with all of their heart.

No More Perfect Moms

Last weekend I had the privilege of attending the Hearts at Home Conference with some women from my  MOPS group.  This was my second year going and both years I have come away with so much.

This year's theme was "No more perfect moms."  While not all of my workshops addressed this topic specifically I was hit all weekend with the reminder that I don't have to be perfect.  Jill Savage talked about what she calls "the perfection infection."  We read facebook statuses or twitter tweets and compare our everyday with someone else's highlights.  We look on pinterest and beat ourselves up for not cutting our kids' sandwiches up into their favorite character or not having a perfectly clean, beautiful house, or not having a gourmet meal every night for dinner.  We strive for perfection, but perfection is simply not obtainable.  We will fail every time.

I am so guilty of this.  It's not that I'm a perfectionist, necessarily (I settle for "good enough" in a lot of areas!).  It's more that I want to be the best mommy and wife.  I so easily get caught up in what I can be doing better that I forget about what I'm doing right right now.  I truly see this as the most important job I will ever have and I am afraid of failure.  I don't want my boys to grow up and feel like I neglected them because we didn't do projects together or I didn't make cool things to play.  I don't want them to go to school and be the only kid that doesn't know his letters and numbers.  I don't want them to feel like we never go anywhere fun.

But the thing is, they won't.  It's not what we do that my boys will remember.  It's who they do it with.  And right now my boys are easily impressed.  A morning playing trains with Mommy is Micah's favorite day ever.  A lunch of chicken nuggets, french fries, and a juice box is the best.  Sitting on the couch, watching Thomas is how Micah would prefer to spend his afternoon.  And sitting in Mommy's lap, reading a couple of books, and getting his back rubbed is the best way to get ready for bed. 

So why do I put so much pressure on myself?  Why do I feel like I have to strive to be perfect?  It only stresses me (and my family) out.  I was challenged last weekend to stop striving for perfection and just focus on being okay.  Okay is a good place to be.  It's not putting unrealistic expectations on myself or those around me.  It's being okay with failure because I am human and I am going to fail.  It's making time for what really matters (my family) and not getting caught up in the frilly things that don't.  So, I'm going to work on being "the world's okayest mom."  That doesn't mean we're not going to do art projects or fun activities in our house anymore.  It just means if we don't do those things I will be okay with it.  If all we do all day is play trains that's okay.  Because that's all my little boy really wants.  And at the end of the day what matters most to me is making him happy.

What about you?  Will you stop striving for perfection with me and settle for the world's okayest mom?

Sledding

A couple weeks ago we finally got a good snow.  Both Brad and I were bummed, however, because he was at work all day and couldn't enjoy it with Micah.  But as soon as Brad got home that day he ran upstairs to change his clothes so that he could take Micah sledding.  At the last minute, we decided that Judah and I would join them as well.  So, we bundled both of the boys up and headed down the street to the Manhattan sledding hill.

 This was Micah's first time sledding.  He was scared at first (no surprise there!) so we took Judah down first.  Judah, of course, loved it.  Eventually, we had to just grab Micah and go.  After that, he realized that he loved it and wanted to go again and again.  He even climbed up the hill every time all by himself.  He tried carrying the sled, too, but it was too hard for him to keep his traction and hold the sled.

Everyone had a fun time sledding.  I'm so glad that we had the opportunity to go at least once this winter, even if it was the end of winter.  We're already looking forward to NEXT winter when we get to go again--maybe Micah will even go down by himself!